BRIEF TEASER:
"...As she kept squeezing and clutching her legs together so the man couldn't take her jeans off, the other man hit her so hard on her head it had felt as though a heavy stone had just slammed into her...She began to see everything in a blur..."

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GOALS AND DESIRES: by Jenny Podushko
Time Period: Spring 2002
Type: Personal Essay
Rated: PG

BRIEF TEASER:
"...I had made plenty of bad choices. One of my biggest bad choices was allowing my-self all this excessive weight gain. You can not be in show business and be overweight at the same time that is one of the biggest issues I have. The fear of being judged based solely upon my looks. Another bad choice I've made was to pass up opportunities that I've came across due to my insecurities..."

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MR.GRIMES no.1 TEACHER: by Jenny Podushko
Time Period: Winter 2003
Type: Personal Essay
Rated: PG

BRIEF TEASER:
"...When I first walked up those three steps, looked up at the engraved lettering, which read “The High School of Fashion Industries” and then entered the big brown double doors, I never expected that one man could change my whole outlook on life. It didn’t happen within the first year but it occurred during the first semester of my sophomore year. When I came into that classroom, looking around just thinking “another pointless English class,” Boy, was I wrong. A man by the name of Mr. Gary Grimes entered the room and the first thing he did was tell us if we were absent more then three days we automatically fail with a 40, he doesn’t tolerate absence because “how can you learn if your not in class”. The first couple of weeks he seemed like a teacher I was going to have to have fear. Then after a few weeks I began to notice a lot of his remarks were true, but he was being sarcastically humorous about them. I also noticed that by his comments here and there about his life and on occasion ours – he got the rest of the students and I laughing, entertained and most importantly our attention..."

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DEMON OF THE NIGHT: by Jenny Podushko
Time Period: Winter 2004
Type: Gothic Story
Rated: PG-13

BRIEF TEASER:
"...She questioned; who is this “he” they are all referring too, and what does “another one” mean. Each man took a turn at describing the demon of the night and what he does, but all Delila could think was – “what this the man I saw, this demon they speak of” and then she just looked away and actually thought, maybe I can change this man and his way of living, there must have been a reason she felt a connection towards him last night, there has to be a way for her to get close to him..."

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Free to be me ... featured on shine.com
Can people get real for a change? It seems like everyone is always trying to fit in, not realizing that in doing so, they aren't being true to themselves. It's true, certain things will influence the person you become later in life - like where you grow up and the people you meet. These kinds of things shape a person's personality and their choices. At the same time, those same influences that drive people completely insane because they don't feel like they fit in.

Whether it's your friends at school, co-workers or even your own family members, it seems that people always want you to be someone you're not. Parents tell their kids, "Why can't you be more like your brother or sister," and friends dish out peer pressure to do things you're not ready to do. Why do people let this happen to them?

The answer, I think, is that most teens don't believe in themselves. I believe that is the first sign of trying to be someone you're not. Once you start doubting yourself, you've already become vulnerable to the peer pressures around you. For example: if one of your friends gets a new tattoo and everyone - including your crush - thinks it looks hot. Problem is, you think tattoos are kind of hideous. But she is getting a lot of attention. Then you start to think maybe if you got a tattoo you'd get some more attention too - especially from your crush! This is just a small example of how many teens copy someone's style and lose their identity and individuality in the process.

Another thing teens do to try to fit in is dressing like our friends, fearing that if we wear something that they won't find appealing, we will be mocked. What most people don't understand is that our differences are the things that makes us shine. If you look like someone else, nothing is interesting about you.

Teens hate to be judged, especially by adults. How many times have you heard them say "Well, when I was your age...?" As amusing as it might be, adults don't understand that the more they tell us what not to do, the more we want to do it - just to annoy them for annoying us. We don't mean to be disrespectful; it's just the way teens are. We set our own standards, but when parents place high standards on us to work harder, they overwork us. That leads to stress and all kinds of other problems, including depression. If our parents just let us be, I guarantee that we would grow to be the people they'd want us to be.

If parents would stop asking us so much we would come to them and talk to them about our problems, instead of relying on outside sources. Personally, my mother or father have never told me to not do drugs or not to drink. They never preached to me about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Yet, in all my 16 years, I've never smoked, drank or done any kind of drugs. I value their trust in me to make my own decisions and I don't want to lose that.

I may seem like a broken record here, but I really feel strongly about this. Conforming to others expectations and trying to be like everyone else will get you nowhere. If people would stop judging each other and let people live, the world would be a better place. Everyone needs to take his or her own path in life, not someone else's.

* featured * http://www.shine.com/inspiration_bms.cfm?content_id=freetobeme

Labeling...a solution or riot...
April 20, 1999: Littleton, Colorado, 14 students (including the killers) and one teacher killed, 23 others wounded at Columbine High School in the nation's deadliest school shooting. Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, had plotted for a year to kill at least 500 and blow up their school. At the end of their hour-long rampage, they turned their guns on themselves. April 28, 1999: Taber, Alberta, Canada, One student killed, one wounded at W. R. Myers High School in first fatal high school shooting in Canada in 20 years. The suspect, a 14-year-old boy, had dropped out of school after he was severely ostracized by his classmates. March 7, 2001: Williamsport, Pennsylvania, Elizabeth Catherine Bush, 14, wounded student Kimberly Marchese in the cafeteria of Bishop Neumann High School; she was depressed and frequently teased.

Being labeled, teased and bullied seems like something every kid goes through at least once or twice in his or her lifetime. It goes unnoticed in our society because we know it makes us feel good, about life, school and ourselves. Its great coming home and having nothing better to do then lay there crying on that moist pillow, day after day. We all have been through that stage and we know it has us participating in more school activities then we ever would be. Our social life was skyrocketing; we are always the main attraction at that awesome party; that never ends. Everybody calls us by those ever so keen nicknames we have been forcefully awarded. The fun doesn’t stop here; don’t forget all those classic makeovers! If others don’t approve of our book bags they take it upon themselves to trash it. Maybe even brighten our faces with lovely hues of black, blue and let’s not forget purple.

We the labeled, teased and bullied are also known for being generous. We love that motto which everyone works around, the one that goes “if you like it all that much it’s yours”. We love constantly being made fun of because it feels good. We are also in love with the cliques that are setup, they are a great way to NOT outcast anyone, right? Although the point of them is to separate the weak from the strong, thankfully I always get to chose which side I’m on.

So I have come up with an idea like no other, the new high school application process. Why, you ask? Because we will now have a new law in support of the separation of high schools. This will be a solution to the on going effects of out casting. This time ALL of our future leaders can finally have an enjoyable high school experience.

Each teenager will be given a new mandatory option in his or her high school applications. They will have to check the type of high school they wish to enter. The list would have about ten choices some of which would be prep, average, gothic, over weight, various and etc. Afterwards you will be placed in a high school with only the type of students that have also checked the same box.

So if you were gothic that’s what you would check off. Then once you send out the application you would be accepted only into schools with your kind of faculty and peers. You will also have the choice to apply to schools with various types of teens like current high schools by checking “various”, but you have the option of going to a school with your kind of peers.

Why is this a great solution to the problem of out casting? Well, because everyone will fit in, plain and simple. Everyone will have the same type of image, style, interests and idea’s on life in general. No one will go around making fun of anyone else because there would be nothing left to say if everyone has common interests. No will be looked at for liking something different because that wouldn’t be the case. It goes for looking different too.

Another great thing about this idea is that the faculty would also be related to the schools theme. Teachers wouldn’t judge their students with just a glance. They would understand where their students are coming from and not pay any attention to things such as hair color, dress or make up. They themselves would look like their students and like the same music. This way, students can finally enter class with out the teachers staring at them like they flew in from another planet.

This idea will not only make students feel more at home but since for the most part teasing, bullying and labeling would end this would be beneficial to all in many different ways. A lot of teens will be saved from constant depression and suicidal thoughts. As well as the thoughts of committing violent acts towards their bullies. Many of the acts that already have been created could have been prevented with the separation of schools.

Before anyone claims that the separation of schools could cause other violence such as hostility between different high schools let me set it straight. Although it may seem a big problem is whole high schools would be against one another, it would still be nothing new. When schools play against each other in many sports games they have hostility so it wouldn’t be anything new. One way or another less teenagers would be taking their owns lives and the lives of their peers.

I’m not the first to attempt a solution to this problem our annoyed government has too. They’ve been hit with this problem so many times and they have come up with the perfect solution, They’re zero tolerance policy. This excuse for “doing something” is terrible as all solutions provided by our government are. For example A Pennsylvania School’s zero-tolerance policy that mandated a one-year suspension for students, who bring weapons to school, was ruled unconstitutional. The verdict freed a 12-year-old student who was suspended for one year for filing his nails with a Swiss Army knife he found in a school hallway. I think that suspending students for wearing “odd” clothing like chains, spiked collars, different colors and types are also unconstitutional.

Another solution that bombed was the one they still have around, School counselors. Many would think it’s a great idea to go to counselors when you have nowhere else to turn, but for most teens that is not the case. All they would tell you is “it’s okay to be different but it’s best if you were to act more like the rest”. They never really sit down to talk to you; you’re just another number in line. Students know that, they aren’t stupid. So again they still don’t get the help they need. So this solution is not a good one, not at all.

So what have we been confronted with again? School violence is still a big problem in our society. What we have done about it is not enough. We aren’t going into the depth of the problem; we are just looking for easy ways to cover it up. As well as making sure we have the right to say, “you see we are doing something about it”. The separations of high schools seems to be the last hope for have a good high school experience, for everyone.

* Disclaimer * this was a sarcastic essay trying to make everyone understand how much labeling needs our attention.

What kind of fan are you?
How many times have you encountered a music or movie celebrity fan? Of a certain kind that is, plenty I would assume. You probably are a fan yourself, but what kind of fan are you? In today’s complex society even being a fan has its own set of levels. It’s quite easy to tell one fan apart from another. So what kind are you? A mature fan? Regular fan? Maybe even a teenybopper? I guess you’ll soon find out.

You know you’re a mature fan when you’re in it for the art, talent and skill the entertainer possesses. This kind of fan doesn’t purchase every bit of merchandise, but instead turns on a song or movie and uses it as an outlet to pause from the worries and troubles of everyday. A mature fan usually has a bond with the music lyrics or the roles a certain actor always chooses. Like for me I relate to the lyrics of Linkin Park and Eminem, and the acting skills of Leonardo DiCaprio. No matter what anyone says about him being only a heartthrob, the man has a lot of acting talent taking on the roles he does. Therefore they connect themselves with a celebrity only because of the talent and messages through roles and music, unlike a regular fan.

A regular fan is attracted to an entertainer simply for their looks, sex appeal, stage persona and popularity. This kind of fan will buy a CD or movie ticket just because the entertainer looks like someone from his or her dreams. Regular fans won’t mind if that celebrity has no talent or skills whatsoever at their profession someone like Britney Spears for example. This type of fan will idolize an actor or musician just because theirs peers do, almost like a teenybopper.

Teenyboppers are usually categorized as thirteen to nineteen year old teens that are completely obsessed with a certain type of celebrity; whether it’s an actor, solo musician or a manufactured group like N`Sync. When you’re classified as a teenybopper you are now at the extreme level of being a fanatic. This type of fan will not stop at anything to get closer to their celebrity which includes constant trips to hotels where ever they maybe be, attending all shows and trying to get backstage, throwing under garments with phone numbers at the celebrity and so on. Their whole lives revolve around their idol, their room is covered with posters, memorabilia like pillows, clothing and everything related to that star of theirs.

A teenybopper is more then sure that they will be the one true love of that star. They read up and memorize all biographical information and end up saying things like “He or She will see that I will love them for who they are not what they are”. A teenybopper will go into deep depression if the man or women they love gets a boy or girlfriend. They will also rage out and nine out of ten of the times they will even get violent.

Out of the three types of fans there are, a teenybopper is the entertainment industry’s best friend. This market of love-struck teens will move with their star no matter what they do. If this celebrity goes from being a music star to a big screen star the entertainer has a built in audience already. All teenyboppers will flow with their artist because anything thing they do they are “good” at. All merchandise like books, CD’s. DVD’s, Videos, pillows, underwear, t-shirts, toys and video games will sell like hot cakes with teenybopper fan bases, because if their artist is even the slightest bit associated with the product this kind of fan has got to have it. This obsession causes teens to force their parents to fork out the big bucks so they can have all the memorabilia, most of the plane tickets to fly out and see their performer wherever they may be, sleep outside of MTV’s headquarters to get on Total Request Live when their performer is appearing or a local ticket master so they can be first in line and beat out the rest of the teenyboppers and get first dips at the tickets. Sometimes this obsession will go too far and cause a teenybopper to become suicidal when the entertainer gets married, or even a stalker and murdered, but I wont go into that.

So after that very long and informative distinction of fans, did you decide? What type of fan are you? Maybe you’re a calm and cool mature fan, an out-going regular fan? Or maybe even a star crazy teenybopper? Hmm…now that’s up to you to decide.

RUSH Delivery ... featured on shine.com
What could get the rich and the famous to whip out their wallets and make the trek to Russell Simmons' (founder of Def Jam records) home in the Hamptons? No, not a record release party, but the RUSH Benefit, a youth art auction that raises money for teen art programs New York City. RUSH works to help create an environment in which artistic and cultural expression are constantly available.

This was definitely a party I will never forget for as long as I live. I felt like Cinderella, everyone was so nice. The house was beautiful, everyone was dressed to the nines and they treated me like an adult. Someone even asked if I wanted h'ors d'ouvres! But what was really mind-boggling was the fact that my artwork was blown up into a mural and was the backdrop for the whole event! That was just totally rad! Plus, a fellow SHiNE artist, Michael Kahn, had his artwork blown up too. His mural was used as a guest book and was signed by all the wonderful guests.

This event was a great way for everyone to take part in a worthy cause and help make a difference in the lives of many New York City teens. All the money collected from the benefit was split between three non-profit organizations, IMPACT, The Conservatory for the Performing Arts at Boys and Girls Harbor Inc., and SHiNE.

Queen Latifah hosted the event -- that was so cool. She was really friendly and sweet and gave the SHiNE teens special goodies, including an autograph and a copy of her new single on vinyl. With so many celebs prancing around the Simmons' estate, I made sure to take pictures with all of them. My favorite is the picture I took with Russell Simmons' wife, the beautiful Kimora Lee Simmons.

Soon it was time for the auction. I was so excited. My piece wasn't included in the auction, but Queen Latifah pointed out my mural and told the crowd I had created it. There I was, just a regular teen having my name announced by the original Queen of Hip-Hop! I never dreamed anyone, especially famous people would be so interested in the art that I love creating so much. I really felt appreciated and welcomed in a world I never dreamed I'd be a part of -- even if it was only for one night. I'm really thankful to SHiNE for all the wonderful things they've done for me.

* featured * http://www.shine.com/shine411_events.cfm?content_id=jenny_rush

What's Your Anti-Drug Campaign... featured on shine.com
What an action-packed afternoon of fun and games at Rucker Park in Harlem, NYC. People from all over New York City came to cheer on their favorite local basketball teams -- the Brooklyn Bayshore's and the Bronx Guancho's -- who were playing in support of the Office of National Drug Control Policy's (ONDCP) "What's Your Anti-Drug?" campaign. You could feel the passion and excitement from all the fans as they caused the bleachers to vibrate with all their cheering and jumping out of their seats. You could tell these people were rooting for both the basketball players and the cause behind the game.

I wanted to see what people thought about the event and what their anti-drugs were, so I went up to some people and asked them about it. Bill Greene, who was there with his son, Kiptone, said, "We are here to cheer on the Guancho's," adding that his son plays basketball at the Guancho's school on Saturdays and Sundays. Kiptone shouted out that his anti-drug was, what else, basketball.

These ballers say no to drugs.

Speaking of anti-drugs, one of the highlights was the huge mural that was on the park fence where people painted and drew what theirs were. There were so many different ones -- music, dancing, art, the theatre, etc. It was really beautiful. I even expressed my anti-drug, which happened to be a drawing of a light bulb for all bright my ideas.

The author draws her anti-drug.

Just in case you're wondering, Bayshore ended up winning by just one point. It was a time well spent, and it was for a great cause. I also want to add that, in the end, the speaker let the crowd in on some fun. He brought out a few teens from the bleachers to have a dance off and they all looked like they where having a blast! It was great to see loads of people coming together for such a great event and cause.

* featured * http://www.shine.com/shine411_events.cfm?content_id=ebc